Strengths + Weaknesses of Being An Introvert Mom
As an introverted mom, I am learning to appreciate my quieter temperament in comparison to my extrovert counterparts. My strengths and weaknesses are just slightly different but neither personality traits are "better" than the other.
Knowing that I lean more to the introvert side, made me aware that we introverts have different needs and will want to use unique strategies to balance our motherhood with this personality in a healthy way.
Introvert vs. Extrovert:
So, what's the difference?
Extroverts draw their energy from interactions with other people. If they spend too much time alone, they’ll soon feel drained, irritated and bored.
Introverts, on the other hand, draw energy out of themselves, out of their own ideas and thoughts and therefore, above all, need enough rest and opportunities to recharge their mental and emotional batteries.
No one is only introverted or just extroverted. Everyone is on the scale somewhere in between. So, it is importan for every individual to find out what the appropriate dose of external stimulation on the one hand and on the other hand withdrawal into self is needed.
What happens when introverted women become mom?
It is totally natural that introverted women change a bit once they begin life as a mom and must look after a child 24 hours a day. What seems like normal family madness or #momlife can be especially exhausting for introverts.
Day-to-Day life with children - noise, confusion, the variety of tasks to be done at the same time, the children's demand for attention and activities - can quickly lead an introverted mother to reach her limits.
To compensate introverted mom’s tend to seek out again and again opportunities to rest. We feel an energy gain from being alone.
Strengths of introverted mothers
1. Radiate Calm
As an introverted mother we are the calming point of the family. We take great measures to ensure that children participate in creative outlets and allow for self-expression. But also make certain that they are not overstimulated and get enough rest.
2. Letting Go
It is easy for us to accept that every child develops in their own way and at pace that is comfortable for them. We understand the need to have personal freedom. As a mother, we manage to stay in the close by in the background and let the kids collect their own experiences.
3. Listen well
Listening as an introvert is easy. We can fully focus on your child's concerns, be compassionate, reflect on what they are saying, and are careful not out to push our views to the forefront. This makes our child(ren) feel valued and accepted but it is also an approach that does not overwhelm us when we are listening to the concerns of multiple children.
4. Rarely bored
As an introvert, we're not bored that fast. While extroverted young mothers can feel lonely quickly when they spend a lot of time alone with a baby or kids, introverts like to share the quiet moments over the parties, amusement parks, and other exciting activities.
It took me several years to come to terms with why I am this way and to accept that being an introvert does not make me a bad mom. I actually find it to be one of my most endearing qualities as a person and mother.
What is hard for an introverted mother
1. Small talk
Introverted moms usually do not enjoy small talk with other parents who are unfamiliar with them and really do not like connecting in a superficial way. Attending classmates’ parties, events around school, sports games are therefore rather tiring because they overstimulate and leave the introvert mom feeling even more disconnected.
2. A lot of Excitement
Being a mom of multiple children or often have several children visiting at one time is a challenge for an introverted mom who needs a lot of time for herself to recharge her batteries. We may seem irritable or short with others and it isn’t because we don’t love the company. We simply need to check out for a moment.
3. Extroverted children
If an introverted mother has an extroverted child, she finds it difficult to understand and support their strong need for activities and being with friends. Here it is important to find a good compromise with good intentions in a way in which both sides can live well. The older and more independent the children become it may become easier to loosen the reigns and let them live. Instituting downtime have also taught my children to respect personal space and my right to time alone even if we are just a room apart.
It took me several years to come to terms with why I am this way and to accept that being an introvert does not make me a bad mom. I actually find it to be one of my most endearing qualities as a person and mother. This personal acceptance has allowed me to let myself off the hook and not feel so anxious about missing out on somethings. I’ve learned to stop trying to force relationships with other moms and nurture my family (blood + extended) organically. For introvert moms, I’d like to encourage you to embrace your quiet temperament, honor your spirit that calls for calm over chaos, and don’t try to change to fit societies idea of what makes a good mom.